The Knight Family: Happy Fourth Birthday, Leyton!

Dear Leyton,

Today you are four. Four! Has it really been that long since you came roaring into our lives? I still remember the day you were born so vividly. The next few months were a big sleepless blur, but I'll never forget seeing you, holding you for the first time and wondering what in the world I was supposed to do with you. Sometimes I still wonder what in the world to do with you.

This year has been such a year of change. Right after you turned three we said goodbye to all things 'baby.' You were potty trained in about 3 days and never looked back. We finally moved you from your crib to a big boy bed and you have officially, forever said goodbye to nap time. It seems as if overnight you became fiercely independent. You are growing up- a little boy- and while it has been hard for me to accept that you are really no longer a baby it is so exciting for me to watch you develop and grow into the little man you are.

Perhaps the biggest change in your life this past year was becoming a big brother. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I couldn't be more proud of the big brother you are! You were at home with your Gigi when Elise was born. After she arrived Gigi showed you a picture of our newest addition on her phone and she said you didn't speak for about an hour. But you burst into our hospital room and couldn't wait to hold her. It was such a precious sight for me. You held her and kissed her head and I knew she would always be protected by you. For such a rough little boy, you are so gentle with her. I love watching you with her when you don't know I am. If she is fussing, you will go sit by her and pat her leg and talk to her in this sweet, high pitched baby voice, "It's ok, baby girl. Momma's coming right back." Then you will go pick up a toy to distract her with. When we are going somewhere in the car she sometimes gets restless (much like you did) and you will say "It's ok, don't fuss, we are almost there" even if we are close or not. In the beginning, you could not bear to hear her cry. If she even whimpered, you would beg us to go get her. Now when she cries, you poke out your lip and say "poor baby." Do you know she loves you too? Whenever you give her attention she just lights up. Sometimes, you will randomly stop what you are doing and come over to kiss her on the head and lay your head on top of hers for a brief second. She loves watching you run around like a madman and sometimes it infuriates her that she can't run after you. It won't be long though, little man, prepare yourself.

You have had such a huge change in your personality this year too. You were once so outgoing and would talk to anyone and everyone, but it seemed as if overnight you became really shy in public and around new people. At first, I wasn't sure what to make of this, but you are trying to uncover your little personality. You have become so independent. You were the little boy who never once tried to crawl out of your crib or even your big boy bed. But one morning we woke up and you weren't in your room. Daddy panicked until he found you in your playroom bopping around. From that morning on you decided that you didn't need mommy and daddy for much and were perfectly content entertaining yourself. You try to do everything by yourself and you say "I don't need your help, momma. I'm doing this all by myself." You would make your own lunch and supper if I'd let you. You get so frustrated sometimes trying to dress yourself, but you will roll around on the floor in a fit of fury trying to get your shirt on right, but God forbid anyone try to help. You beam with pride when you figure something out on your own and say "I did it ALL by myself!"

You are so stubborn and have the shortest fuse I have ever seen. It doesn't take much to get you flustered and downright angry. I don't know where you get your temper, but you can go from calm to kicking-screaming-alligator tears meltdown in a mere second. You have perfected the growl and as you say "I have on my mean eyes" while scrunching up your nose and scowling. Sometimes I have to turn my head so you don't see me laughing at your little hissy fits.

But then you are so sweet and so helpful. Perhaps my most coveted time with you is your bedtime. After bath, we read a book (for the past month the only book you will even consider reading is your train book). Then we lay in your bed and sing the same song I have sang to you from the time you were a few weeks old until now. Now you sing it with me and you also have started praying with me. You pretty much have our prayer memorized and I love hearing you say it "Dear God. Thank you so much for this day. Thank you for all of our blessings. Thank you for all of our food and drink. Thank you for our friends and all our family. Help us to get a good night's sleep so we can wake up and have a wonderful day tomorrow. Help us to be kind to one another and act in love. Amen." Then you say "lay down with me, momma, but not for just a minute." So I do. Then I get up and you throw your arms around my neck and give me a "snowball squeeze." I am going to die a little on the inside when you stop doing this.

You are such a momma's boy and I would be lying if I said I didn't love it. One day you we were having a conversation and I called you 'baby.' You stopped and said in an accusatory tone "WHAT did you just call me?" and I told you I called you baby and you said "I am NOT your baby. I am your pumpkin pie." I will be sure to remind you of this when you are 13.

There's so much of your little self that I never want to forget. I will cry the day you stop obsessing and being in awe of trains. You eat, breathe and sleep trains. You know more about trains than I ever thought anyone needed to know. Your E-pop took you on your first, real train ride this summer and you still talk about it. You have the ticket on the refrigerator and take it down sometimes to show people. You are still so curious and ask so many questions. I love watching you learn and understand new things. You are so, so smart. Sometimes it amazed me how much you know and how fast you catch on. I will read you a book once or twice. Then you can take it and 'read' it back to me. It is amazing how much your mind can hold. You are also very sharp in your negotiating skills. You really do drive a hard bargain. You would eat snacks all day long and never have to sit down for a meal if we would let you. You just recently started to love coloring, but you will only use the color blue. You just learned to write your name. You refuse to wear pants at home. As soon as you get home from school you strip down to your t-shirt and underwear. You are usually (sometimes) very polite saying please, no ma'am and sir and yes ma'am and sir. Sometimes you apologize for things way after the fact - "I'm sorry daddy for that one time a long, long time ago when I pooted in the tub and made itty bitty poops." You love to play pretend. Sometimes you misuse the word pretend when you do something bad (no, momma. I was just pretending to throw the ball at the t.v.). Right. You love to say "I gotta tell you a secret," "Hear this," "Listen to me," "I gotta tell you sumpin," "Guess what?," "Watch this. Keeeep watching. Keeeeep watching."

This year has not been all rainbows and sunshine. We have had some growing pains, but I do believe we are better for it. I hope you know that daddy and I are doing our best. We may not be perfect, but we love you unconditionally, pray for you, and hope that we do everything we can to help you grow into a wonderful person. We love you always. No matter what.

Momma

Letter, Year One

Letter, Year Two

Letter, Year Three