Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ways to Keep your Sanity

I got this in an email, and I figured I would share:

• At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
• Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
•Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
• Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
• In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"
• Finish All Your sentences! With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
• Don't use any punctuation
• As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
• Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
• Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
• Sing Along At The Opera.
• Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
• Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
• Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
• Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
• When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
• When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
• Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

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